Christine Rhyner Christine RhynerSitting in my new home, watching the sun rise over the marsh. It really is a nice view from my desk here by the front window.
It’s all over—the closing, the hauling of car load after car load of “stuff” to the new house. And I was mistaken. The new owner of our old house is Chinese but his wife is Costa Rican and fluent in English, Spanish and Chinese. How’s that for international flair! They have two babies and an eleven year-old.
The grief I have felt over the last few weeks has been unlike anything I’ve experienced short of my failed attempts at conception. The loss, the failure to maintain our home and the constant struggle to get by have all taken their toll. I feel spent--physically, emotionally, spiritually and every other which way.
As I’ve said good-bye to neighbors they’ve said some pretty strange things.
“I’m sorry you “have” to move.” How did they come to that assumption?
Or, “Well, you know you didn’t work. Your husband let you do whatever you wanted.” What does that mean?
Just as I’ve written in my upcoming book on forgiving words that hurt you and your adopted kids, I must forgive neighbors and others for hurtful comments. Just as I must forgive the father of a friend of my son who came by and commented on how much smaller this place is and how we have no pool now and wondered how much we are paying to live here.
I grieve daily. I want to go home. I am surrounded by boxes and clutter and furniture that has no place to sit and I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. My tears flow and try as I might to keep them private, my children have seen or heard me cry. They are stronger than I.
But I am aware of God’s great mercy and blessings, just as I was when He led us down the adoption path.
In her book, “A Time to Grieve, How to Get a Grip and Move on,” Carol L. Fitzpatrick says, “Where is (Jesus) during this tumultuous array of emotions?
Right there beside you, with His arms outstretched, saying, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.” (Matthew 11:28-30).
I plan to spend some time with this book that offers help and hope from the Bible for grief—because grief is a terrible emotion. When mixed with isolation it can be deadly. That’s why it’s so important to find others who can help whether one grieves the loss of a house, a lifestyle, fertility, a baby or adoption plan.
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